Abuse After Separation - 7 signs to spot

It is sad to say that in many relationships domestic abuse is becoming a more common feature.  Sadly, this does not always end on the relationship breaking down.  This article aims to help identify the 7 different types of abuse that can happen after a relationship ends and what can then be done to assist people.

Abuse after separation is broken down in to 7 different are-as:

Economic Abuse – this can include enticing a child to go and live with a parent so that they can claim benefits and child support from the other parent.  Additionally, they can threaten to stop paying rent or mortgage in relation to any jointly owned house.  They can even force the person to try to borrow money from family and friends.  They can place additional financial pressure on the other parent by spoiling the child whilst in their care which then obviously leads to the other parent trying to reciprocate.

Threats of Violence – we see often, after a relationship breaks down, there can be a potential for violence or threats of violence against one of the parties in order to comply with a certain request.  They can also take it one step further and threaten family members and friends.  

Legal Abuse – this can include deliberately taking a matter to Court to try to run up a party’s expenses and any savings that they have had. They can fail to comply with an Order which, again, leads to further Hearings needing to be necessary or even failing to turn up in some cases.  

Isolation and defaming the other party - they are making you suffer from mental health abuse, isolating them from friends and family which will provide a support network around them.  

Monitoring and Stalking – this includes the monitoring of social media apps.  Having tracking apps on phones.

Child Abuse – this can include alienating a child from that parent, encouraging them to be difficult in the presence of a parent, enticing them to come and live with them or exclude the other parent from their life.

Counter Parenting – this is a fairly common occurrence in children cases where abuse has been an element where one parent will go out of the way to parent in a different style in order to deliberately undermine the other parent.

There are a variety of ways to which a person can protect themselves and the most straight forward is that of a Non-Molestation Order.  This is an Order which prevents the other person from undertaking a certain number of actions and this can include protections against all of the above.  

There is a lower alternative which is a warning letter which can be sent by a solicitor to insist that if these actions do not desist then action will be taken with the Court.  Sometimes this can be a more economically viable option for those people who are not eligible for Legal Aid.

In respect of financial and children matters the Courts can put in place very stringent Orders which have clear Recordings as to what is to be expected of the other parent, in particular with financial matters if there is a disregard for the Court process, the Court does have the power to order costs against any party who is deliberately flying in the face of a Court Order.

In relation to children matters, if one parent, for instance, is failing to provide a passport this can be requested to be held by a certain parent and returned after a particular holiday.  Similarly Parenting Agreements can do the exact same thing but go in to a lot more detail as to how it is to be agreed that a child is to be brought up.  Of course, if agreement is not reached then a Court Order can and will always be the best option available to a party to resolve matters.

At HCB we can advise you on your options following separation.  For more information contact a member of our Family team.